WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
