thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
