We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
