I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
