suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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