Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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