You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
