I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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