sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
