Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
She told me I should be a condom model.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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