I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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