I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Randomize