He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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