She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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