So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
