# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
