nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize
