Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
