i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
