Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Dear god my vagina.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
