It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Your penis caused this!
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