haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
