i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
