guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
