What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
