she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Use "feeling words"
Yay
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Randomize
