Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
