anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
