i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
