Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize