why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
