Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
