I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
