So drunk its hurt
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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