I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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