I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
