I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
