Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
