Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
