evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
