I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I smell like Dick and happiness
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize