U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Randomize
