Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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