Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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