Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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