Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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