idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
