Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
