i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
