Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
This baby is an asshole
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
