what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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