it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize