Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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