sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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