You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
