coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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