I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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