If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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